Friday, July 13, 2007

What Were They Thinking: Episode 1

I like saying 'Episode 1' because it implies that I will be keeping this up (a) and 'b' it kind of kicks me in the ass to do so.That said - it's time for the first installment of 'Inside the Mind' the time when I look at promotional posters and ask "Hey Matt, What do you think they're thinking?"

First up Cuba Gooding Junior:
"Just to confirm...we're sure Eddie Murphay wasn't your first choice right? Hey, any of you guys remember when I won that Oscar? You know I can act right? No? No problem. Hey, if you have any friends, please tell them I'm available if, you know, they have a movie or something. No biggy."

Second up: Billy Corgan

"Hey guys, this is broody right? I mean, this it what the kids are into. Zeitgeist? Sure they'll get it. No, I don't really know what it means. Oh. It means that? So being out of the scene for years probably makes this album name sound completely contradictory. Bummer. Hmm. I Got it. Hank, can I borrow your neon cross? I totally want to make a vague christian reference. Kids like angst right? God I hope I'm still relevant."

"Damnit. The dryer. I turned off the dryer right? Think, Optimus, Think. Took out the clothes, shut the door and then ... shit. I hope Bumblebee signed those apartment insurance papers. Note to self: take out chicken."

"What do you mean the title of this movie is a crack at my career? You name me one time I ever played an 'no silly business rough-around-the-edges cop' forced to take on an extrodinary situation and I'll...what's that? You can name ten off the top of your head? Oh. Look, let's shoot this so I start filming that new movie where I play a rugged cop who has to ... shit!"

Oritz: "I'm so going to mangle the shit out of you.
Shamrock: "Not before I tear your ass up in front of the world.
Oritz: "Hey, is that Kalvin Klein?"
Shamrock: "Smells good eh?"
Oritz: "Yeah, it does. Walmart?"
Shamrock: "London Drugs."
Oritz: "I have to there tonight to pick up Sleep-E-Z for Nancy, maybe I'll pick some up."
Shamrock: "Good idea. I love you."
Oritz: "What?"
Shamrock: "I love ... the game. I love this sport. Is what I meant.
Oritz: "...good."

Well that's all for today...please send requests to

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