Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Keep Em Coming!

The entries, I mean. Keep em coming! And if you don't know what I mean, head down a post and check out the contest.

Also, and if you really can't stand wading through a year of immensely entertaining posts, you could always copy the answers posted in the comment section by someone who obviously has complete disregard for policies and procedures. Still, they may not be right. (And I'm hoping they aren't so I don't have to commit myself to drawing a 'giant package').

In the meantime, kiddies, thought I'd rant a bit about Nintendo.
Now, to begin, you have to know that I pretty much grew up on Nintendo. I was the generation that called it 'Super Mario BrAs' because I didn't know 'Bros.' was a short form of 'Brothers'. Tecmo Superbowl was my afternoon activity and Super Smash Brothers was the only way Steve and I could decide who would do the essential work in our lovely downtown apartment (i.e dishes, bathroom cleaning, laundry, feeding the hamster).
*I should note that because of Steve's uncanny ability to find the most cheapest moves in any game (I'm looking at you fan abuser), my wins were few and far between. Which is why, when I look back on things, I probably got into RPG's and other single player outings.*
In any case, what I'm saying is that I was a Nintendo fanboy before the word 'fanboy' crapped itself into the Videogame Lexicon. So you have to believe me when I say that it pains me now to fire a shot against the big N.
But I will. Because someone has to. And there's literally nothing left to do at work.
p.s: A note to Newcap readers - I'm kidding.
So here it is. Nintendo - you've become a dick (See picture above of your negligent-pop-culture whoring). Seriously, you've grown far, far FAR too self-important for your own good and its time to knock you down a peg.

Now, here's where I should be launching into a tirade. And that was the plan until I realized that I posted a similar entry like this at And no, you didn't know it existed because no one read it. So I thought I'd share it with you today:

It begins:

Dear Nintendo,

I've had it up to here with the whole Nintendo Superiority complex, And by 'here', I mean 'mid-neck level' - so while not 'extremely annoyed', I'm not beyond punching the next Nintendo Fanboy in the throat for talking about how Wii sports changed the way we play games. And this is my main problem. It seems like every Wii automatically comes with a soapbox and inflated sense of what it means to be a TRUE GAMER (insert reverb and heroic music).Time magazine even featured the damn thing as if it were the cure for Cancer. People, can we look at this from beyond sales stats and extremely inflated word of mouth? It's a controller for craps sake. Granted, being able to faithfully reproduce physical movements in a virtual medium is a cool trick, it's certainly nowhere near the leaps and bounds in innovation seen elsewhere in the industry. I'm talking about innovations in online play, storytelling, gameplay mechanics, length, audio and graphics. And yes, graphics matter.
Put aside your snobdom for a second and look at this rationally. Better graphics equal better immersion. And I don't care how cool it is to shoot soldiers by flicking your wrist, if they look like jagged zombies, I'm going to switch systems in a flash.

(Whoa! It's like I'm in a REAL game!)
This, in a nutshell, is why I opted for an XBOX 360 instead of a Wii; substance - something beyond mini games and shoehorned controls. I want polish, a sense of epic production values and something new. Good god something new! Sure, for some people it may be fun waiting for those 2 or 3 Zelda/Metroid/Mario titles to show up every 2 years or so, but for me it's like waiting in the cheap theatre for some umpteenth sequel when I could be in the new megaplex watching something new.
Ok, bad analogy.
Here's the deal, my Wii friends have been defending the system since they got it. But what are they playing now? Virtual console games and old gamecube titles. Does that make sense? I thought this system was supposed to be a revolution? So why is there such a heavy emphasis on downloading games you could have easily emulated or bought in the last 2 decades? Oh - I know...because aside from the superb first party franchises, all that's left are 3rd party ports, mini game retreads and disney movie adaptations.

THIS is why Nintendo is dominating the market? What are they putting in the punch??Now just so I'm clear - I don't hate Nintendo. I really do WANT to want the Wii, but I don't want to do it because the sales are at a record high and I'm a giant game hating technophobe if I don't. Motion sensing does not an innovate game make. It's so many other things and, quite frankly, Nintendo just isn't delivering on their promise. Now, if you'll excuse me, Oblivion calls.

1 comment:

SJH said...

Ok Ok, so I know that I broke the rules - but I also saw that you deleted my post (at least I couldn't find it.) So no harm no foul.

Yet, it was effective in letting everyone know I was first. And I definitely have at least 5 right in there, if not all 6. So I want the full package on my picture!

I've actually played the Wii (limited gaming, but my brother owns it) and I couldn't agree more. It was fun for about 5 minutes being able to swing a bat with my wrist and pitch with my wrist (so much for hiding the type of pitch I was about to do...), but the graphics looked like the good ole NES, just a little less grainier. Cartooney in a horrible way, all you do is hit and pitch, because how could you field, throw, steal, run, slide, etc. with such a simple controller, etc. I'll give them props for blowing my mind with how the duckhunt gun worked, but that's where it ends. Not impressed ever since the N64. That was ground breaking with the 3D worlds, etc (at least it was to me.) Now it's just gimmicky.

So on to that package...