Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Ghostrider Review (more or less)

Sometime between now and last wednesday I saw Ghostrider. The goal was to see Zodiac, but with my mind on autopilot and with MJ all misses "wa wa I worked 16 hours today, then I cleaned the apartment, then I picked returned your movies now I'm so tired" we decided on something shorter and less demanding on our poor fragile psyches.

Turns out Ghostrider was just the trick.

So I thought I'd try my hand at a quick review. But to make it special, I'll review Ghostrider as its target demographic: 7-9 year olds.

By Matthew Bradford

Hi, my name is matthew and I saw Ghostrider. Ghostrider stars that man from the car movie with the thieves. It also has a girl and an old guy from tv. There was this totally cool part in the beginning where ghost rider was, like, jumping over busses and he falls and then he tries jumping over helicopters and lives and then tries driving down the highway to find this girl almost gets smashed by another bus. Then he signed autographs. Then ghostrider remembers why he can't die, because some guy said 'I'll save your dad if you sign this'. Ghostrider then pricked his finger and the guy was like 'hahaha' and then ghostrider's dad is saved from the flu but dies anyways.

The graphics in the beginning sucked. Ghostrider looked old and that girl's boobs were soooooo fake or something like Bobby's sisters boobs.

Anyways so some other guy with a white face shows up at a biker bar and the biker is all "you can't come in" and whiteghostface is totally "yeah? yes I can, stupid" and then he totally drains the guy of like blood and bones and then he does the rest to everyone else in the bar because I guess he wanted to have a drink but not have to worry about the noise.

Then ghostrider has date but misses it. Whitefaceghostman calls on his friends who are all like 'I'm air" , "I'm water" , "I'm dust or wind" and then one guy is sand which I guess is earth.

They go to a railroad station to find a scroll and ghostrider shows up. Except now he's on fire and looks like my brother's computer game. He has a whip and he beats them. He's very strong and he makes the sand guy turn into glass because he's so hot. But not, like, gay hot. Me and wendy from Ms.Mitzgibbens class are going out so I didn't mean that.

Then ghostrider is totally busted and he beats up prison guys except one kid. He also points a lot at people and makes them stare into their own souls or something. I never read the comic.

I don't know what happened in the next bit because Joey got us kicked out by being such a tool. When we snuck back in he was killing the wind guy with fancy fire CGI so I guess those guys were dead.

Then they showed this totally cool part from the videogame. Or it could have been the movie. Anyways, ghostrider is totally in whitefaceguysface with a big gun and thatwhitefaceguy is like 'you can destroy me, I have the souls of tons of mexicans'. But he does. I dont know how, but the movie goes pretty quick so i didnt find out.

Then ghostrider ditches the girl because he wants to be a hero.

The End.


Scribe of Dreams said...

Dude you suck.

one: this was not a review it was a very long syopsis of the entire movie.

two: it wasnt that bad, it was a frigging comic movie..so it was full comic-booky-cheesy goodness.

it was certainly better than the hulk or the fantastic four.

thats my 2 bits (which is like 25 cents by the by)

Attention Whore said...

OMG - Im ttly ROFLMAO.U R 2 funE. But ActYaAgeNtYaShuSIz..would ya?

(you review like a 7-9 yr old boy, I comment like a 12 year old MSNing girl...)

SJ Hospitality said...

So this idea from behavioural theory in psychology came back to me. Reinforcement and extinction. It basically works like you start someone on something by giving them positive reinforcement (i.e. good writing) and then as long as they get that reinforcement, they will continue.

The downside, however, if that by receiving nothing (for well over a week) or the positive reinforcer is removed (i.e. good writing) then that habit is easily extinguished.

I'm not sure why that concept just came to me...nice post though.

Aww, man, that probably sounded much worse than I meant it. I just wanted to get in a little burn there...

Good to see you alive and kicking again man, just waiting for the poker stars to come along. Let me know when you want to test it out.

Creative Freakin' Genius said...

Like, I have two things to say.

1. Ms.Mitzgibbens? She's a total lezbian, but being gay is cool so whatever. All women who have an Ms in front of their name are gay.

2. I heard that you and Wendy were totally making out at 7-11 the other day. PDA's are so weak....