Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Campaign Begins

Fellow NewCap Employees,

It's been a big year, hasn't it? A successful year. I don't know about you, but each and everytime I enter these hallowed snow-stained halls, I cannot help but be taken aback by the sheer magnitudeness of our journey.

You may ask yourself: is Magnitudeness a real word? No, it is not. But I argue - why not? Why fear change? Must a word be established before it is said? Must an employee have been with a company longer than 6 months to be awarded a yearly honor? The answer, of course, is no.

Which is why, this December 2006, I urge you to vote Matt Bradford for Employee of the Year.

Some may argue that to be employee of the year, one must first have worked an entire year. Technically, this may be true. But i ask you this: What of Napoleon? What of Einstein? What of Tom Hanks? Must they have also worked an entire calendar year in their professions to be recognized for their achievements? The answer is, again, is no.
Committment, my friends, is a state of mind ... not a timesheet.
In my short time here I have put helped pave a bold new path for our glorious company. In just 5 months, I have increased sales by 300%* and given rise to strong new initiatives that have bolstered the continued providence of our illustrious repitoire...or something. I have single handidly lobbied for the important issues (Most notably my recent Coffee for Creative'06 campaign and the 'Hey Can I Borrow 25 Cents, Drew? program). In the coming future, I promise to think about getting around to doing more.

And isn't that what an Employee of the Year is? More? Think about it.

I am not saying that the other candidates do not deserve this honor. I'm just saying that I saw one beat a small puppy to death with a rolled up Broadcasting magazine in the back. Is that how you want our industry news handled? I thought not.

This December, vote for change. Vote for Vision. Vote for Hope.
Vote Matt Bradford for Employee of the Year.

Because you don't kill puppies...and neither do I.

(all emails and questions can be forwarded to Kelly Thompson, my campaign manager. Donations accepted)


Creative Freakin' Genius said...

Matthew Bradford has a vision. Sure, he can't promise you every Friday off or do anything about the financial raping of the masses at the coffee, pop or snack machines nor can he get you any more money on your paycheck. What he CAN do is take your vote with a smile because that's the kind of guy he is. When voting time comes, and it will, my vote is for Matt Bradford. This message is brought to you by the committee to elect Matt Bradford as Employee of the Year.

Attention Whore said...

As per my blog, if politics were a religon, I'd be an atheist and I sure as hell am not going to vote for the guy who says that after dealing with clients he has to numb himself by gaming. (Unless of course he's saying that we're just so god-damn intelligent that his brain is tired after our witty repartee....then, I might consider it)

vic bickell said...

I agree with genius.....in fact, we need his attitude in public office. Ignore the issue and spin the PR. You is smooth dude. Matt for employee of the year. matt for premier. matt for president, er Prime Minister.