Wednesday, January 10, 2007

24: The Drinking Game

Admittidly, I was a little late climbing aboard the 24 train. I hopped on two seasons in and after 2 week's of DVD marathons I was not only addicted, but I was madly in man-love with Jack Bauer.

Last year, Marijana came across my hidden Jack Bauer magazines and downloaded movies. It was an awkward conversation, but now she's learning to accept - nay - foster my obsession with the man who doesn't sleep. Ever. Not even for like 15 minutes in a car.

So, in celebration of season 6 (starting this weekend on Fox, check your local listings), it's time to break out the spiced rum and fruit juice (and/or manly beer) and play along...

Take 1 Drink Everytime Jack Bauer disobeys a direct order
Take 1 Drink Everytime he's forgiven by superiors mere hours later
Take 2 Drinks Everytime Chloe begrudginly re-aligns a satellite or hacks into a protected database for Jack (thereby disobeying a direct order)
Take a long sip Everytime a hard drive is recovered that must immediately be cracked only to discover that it has been heavily encrypted and will therefore be unbreakable until minutes before the information on said hard drive is needed.
Take 1 Shot Everytime Chloe groans, frowns, pouts or otherwise shows disdain
Take an Entire Drink Everytime the CTU head-honcho dies or is replaced
Take a tiny tiny sip For every person (terrorist or otherwise) who gets shot
Take a hard shot Everytime you ask yourself: "Doesn't anyone sleep, eat or crap in this organization??"
Drink straight from the bottle Everytime Jack says something to the effect of "DROP YOUR GUN, DROP THE GODDAMN GUN!"
Take a cold drink Everytime Jack's emo daughter Kim is shoe-horned in for a guest appearance.
Shotgun a Beer Everytime a major character bites it
Chug Everytime Jack has to make a hard moral decision that will, ultimately, benefit the many while sacrificing the few because, man, that's what it takes in the real world. Conviction! You can't limp in to a terrorist negotiation, you have to seize power right from the start and show those motherfuckers that you aint fucking you around - and if that means beheading a witness? Well...shit...then that's what has to happen. It's life, man - and life's unfair. You think Jack wants to keep saving your sorry asses? No...but he has to. He has to for his wife, Kim and all the people that have died so you can walk down the street without fear of suitcase bombs and radiation. So just back off, man! Back off! You want a hero? He's right in front of you and he's begging you to PUT THE GUN DOWN!
Enjoy responsibly.


Creative Freakin' Genius said...

I haven't yet tuned in but am now turned on in a strange sort of way and forsee a 24 marathon in my near future. Thanks for sharing.

Meagan said...

My God, with that list I'd be dead from alcohol poisoning before the hour was up.